Mutemath is my king of emotional songs. They got me hooked with You Are Mine giving the least amount of words in a song to perfectly emote incredible addiction to something or someone and carried my heart through Control insisting that there’s no reason to exist without that someone or something. Now, Used To is a little more heavy handed and decidedly darker than the previous two but I think when you have the same kind of anguish conveyed you need to be heavy handed. Otherwise you just come off as sarcastic.
I used to walk on air
I used to care,
I had no fear of falling,
I used to never feel like I do now
It’s a love song, it’s a breakup song, it conveys a message. And while listening to Paul Meany’s anguish and his suffering with his new life there’s a question you might not be asking yourself: What DOES he feel like now?
If you’re looking for an immediate answer, take a look at the next few songs: Best Of Intentions, Bulletproof, Safe If We Don’t Look Down, Remain. The lyrics to Remain are especially impactful to me. Listening to these songs finish out the album we realize that he’s hurting and he has no idea where his next foot will fall but we realize that there’s still ground there. And despite the fact that the only thing he wants is to take a few steps back, he doesn’t get to be the way he used to be, but even if he doesn’t know where his next steps will take him, or even if he just doesn’t want to know he’s gotta just keep believing that this at least is something that will take him… somehwere.
I’m also a sucker for ends of songs that let me dramatically crank up the volume like I’m in a superhero movie.